THE GOONIE

-Malibu Coconut Rum -V8 Strawberry Kiwi juice -ice Directions: Mix, serve in a tall glass, drink. Warning: Goes down easy.

TEXAS AND BEYOND: NEW YEARS BEAN PARTY

Evidently it is tradition in Texas to eat black-eyed peas on New Year's Eve. Here is a link to some notes on edible bean ceremonies! Edible Bean Ceremonies of the New Year "Indeed, it seems to be a wide-spread custom in Texas. Yesterday we cooked a pot of peas most of the day using the bone from a Christmas ham. At the stroke of midnight, the entire family toasted each other with champagne and consumed a bowl of black-eyed peas. For maximum good luck in the new year, the first thing you eat on New Year's Day *must* be the peas. "Texas Caviar," a spicy relish made from pickled black-eyes, is served by many clubs as part of the annual festivities." "Leaving behind the subject of black-eyed peas and moving along to BEANS for the New Year -- I have learned that among the peasants and rural people of Japan (Shintoists and Shinto-influenced Buddhists), it is the custom for the family to go to the local shrine on New Year's Day, where the priest throws uncooked red beans (Phaseolus spp.) on all the congregation, like rice at a wedding. My Japanese informant Miyako Graham, who was raised in a farming community in Japan, acted the ceremony out for me. Here's what she said, "People clap hands [claps hands twice, sharply] and bow [bows from the waist, hands pressed together] and then -- pow! pow! pow! -- the priest throws beans on them [laughs and stomps from one foot to another]. It's supposed to be lucky."

WHAT'S FOR DINNER - INTERNATIONAL EDITION

The following photographs are from Smithsonian Magazine, January 2002, taken by Peter Menzel. "Statistically average" families posed with the food they eat for a week. Click on the photos to view a larger scan. Bhutan: America: Bosnia and Herzegovina: Turkey: Mali:

2006 NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

-Better, more infinitely appetizing photographs -More fantastic and detailed writing -Unpredictable vegetarian slant -More concentration, focus, and content -Musings on the Church of Cheese by JRW, a distinctively non-vegan human being -Exposure to the fine dining establishments of Austin, Texas (we dare to step outside the apartment) -Regular updating to keep our regulars regular Witness the evolution of two foodies in 2006. We love yas!

EARTH MOTHER MAKES PUKE SQUASH TURN TO AWESOME SQUASH

BAKED ACORN SQUASH; BLACK BEANS W/CUMIN & VEGETABLES OVER RICE KJJ: Upon slicing open this delicious squash, JRW said it smelled like "throw-up". He wasn't lying, it did smell rather pukey. After 40 mins at 375 degrees, it smelled great! And tasted great! And the beans were good too. On top of rice they form a complete protein. I know that is important. PS. THREE CHEERS FOR BUTTER IN EVERYTHING! JRW: All this take of protein. What about TASTE? That's why we eat, right? i mean, REALLY why we eat? Man, that squash was great-a nice buttery taste, a soft texture, moist enough to be good, not soggy and weird. It would have made a great bowl for a small spinach salad. I also made the comment it looked like the topz of the monkey heads in INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM.

STILL LIFE WITH REMOTE CONTROLS, SOUP, SAUSAGE, PHONE & TEAS

KJJ: There's not much I can say about this one. Note the sausage. I've clearly lost my mind. JRW: You asked for it, and I delivered. NEXT.

EXTREME RICE N BEANS

SOME KIND OF HYBRID STIR-FRY / RICE N BEANS CONCOCTION BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE MAN W/ A PLAN THE UNSTOPPABLE JRW KJJ: He cooks what he pleases! This was good, created with such limited ingredients and funding that I can't help but be impressed. Water chestnuts, lime beans, purple onions, soy sauce. JRW: I do what works, y'know? I'm just a simple man, living in complex times. There were almost too many water chestnuts in this. One day, I'm gonna get REALLY good in the kitchen...and the world better watch out, I'm gonna put water chestnuts in EVRYTHING. No. That's just crazy.

CHRISTMAS CHEER O5: "SUMMER BREEZE"

AKA "CARIBEAN SUNSET" AKA "CARIBBEAN SUNRISE" KJJ: Hi there. I can't come to the phone right now. This is what I am drinking for Christmas this year: -Orange juice -Coconut rum -Grenadine Choose the amounts of each ingredient wisely. JRW: Chase with a White Russian, aka "A Caucasian"

VEG BURGER REDUX

GARDEN BURGER W/ A BIG OLD PILE OF FRIES - ITS WINTER - WE HUNGRY KJJ: When you have the proper fixin's for burgers (pickles, fresh buns, onions, mushrooms) they are a delicious treat. Let me tell you how to serve veggie burgers: you serve it like they do at the famous Ship and Anchor pub in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. On the veggie burger patty you must must must put a pineapple ring and a spoonful of salsa. I swear to God this is true. I would never lie to you. I have your veggie burger interests at heart. If you disobey me, I come to your house and kill you. JRW: That Ship and Anchor burger sounds pretty rowdy. I didn't fully realize I was in Canada until we stopped at the Ship and I heard this dude talk to KJJ, and I was like, "Whoa, listen to that accent!", but then I soon realized I was the one with the crazy accent. It was like, I looked in the mirror, and HE WAS ME!

CUSTOM PORK CHOP

JRW PRESENTS "BABE, PIG IN THE CITY" STARRING ON "OUR PLATE" FEATURING BEST SUPPORTING VEGETABLE NOMINEE "MIGHTY MUSHROOM" KJJ: JRW made us pork chops, my second pork chop in probably ten years (the first one being last week). This is what happens when vegetarians move to texas and get married. Don't judge me. At least we know we are eating "pig" and not "pork". Protein recovery project. Doctor says I gotta get my hemogoblins on the up-and-up. Let me tell you about the mushroom that was so delicious and juicy, browned in sesame oil and sprinkled w/ sesame seeds, it EXPLODED in my mouth and mushroom juice dribbled down my chin. JRW: Those mushrooms were so succulent. We had to get rid of that pork, and we grilled these on one of those little kithen grill things. It worked alright. I mean, it was obviosu that it wasn't done on a REAL grill, but still, the marinade made it work. The onions and mushrooms were a nice little touch, I thought. Way to use the scraps, JW!

TACO SHACK FRIENDS

CHICKEN BURRITO; BEEF FAJITA BURRITO KJJ: A romantic comedy starring two people destined to find happiness at taco shack when their fridge runs out of food and the effort to procure groceries seems to great. Rationalized by the fact that "we live in Texas, dammit, I want a Burrito!". There must have been half a chicken in mine. They are enormous. It is painful to think about, but god almighty, it is 9:45 am as I type this and I could already do with another. When I tasted a bite of the beef burrito, I remarked that this is what I believe really good cat or dog food should taste like. (I was thinking of Fancy Feast, before it was bought by Purina and had those rather appetizing looking chunks of beef in a thick gravy...). JRW: the cat food comment ALMOST grossed me out. But I've lived with a dude that used to REVEL in grossing people out while they're eating, so that was like water off a duck's back. The comment, not the burrito. The burrito was more like, um...a burrito. Doesn't that mean "little donkey"? That's kind of gross.

WTF

MANGO, PAPAYA? KJJ: I opened up my mango to discover it was a papaya!!! KJJ: And no, that is not some creepy metaphor for sexual awakening- I was honest to goodness duped by the grocery store! I bought a mango. Let it ripen. Cut it open... and it was a papaya. Like, a mini-papaya! A "minaya". Weird. I havent had papaya since I was a kid in the tropics. Anyways, when you are cutting open what you think is a mango and you find all these black slimy papaya seeds, your heart skips a beat, of that I can assure you. JRW: It sure looks like bugs. Or roe. Like, papaya caviar. Or, "papayavar".