Tuesday, February 28, 2006


KJJ: Ahhh... another veggie curry. This one turned out far less magnificent than the previous one. The difference? This one was made with a prepared sauce. I know, I know... The sauce was "alright", but the waxy potatoes didn't balance. Shoulda chose a starchy kind. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. And if you see your mom, tell her.... SATAN>>>> JRW: This curry was like the PIOUGHD album-not all together bad, but not as great as PSYCHIC POWERLESS...ANOTHER MAN'S SAC, or the wonderful first half of the HAIRWAY TO STEVEN ep. It had it's P.S.Y. moments, the cauliflower would be it's HURDY GURDY MAN, but lacked the spice, the NEGRO OBSERVER, or I SAW AN X-RAY OF A GIRL PASSING GAS of the previous curry we ate. But not every currry can be a COWBOY BOB, we just make cook, and try, and hope it doesn't come out as a PEPPER.

Monday, February 27, 2006



KJJ: Are you there God? Its me, L'Aviateur. This fine French 75% Full Fat Soft Cheese is the latest in our collection. I mean, well... its gone already-- but it was in our collection for a day or two. I chose this one because the picture looked suspiciously like someone I know. I passed up a bitchin' looking Auvergne Bleu, which I will go back for this week. I am particularly excited to try it, since the French side of my family were cheese farmers in Auvergne. There is no picture of the following recipe, but I asure you it is beautiful and tasty, inside and out. Serve for breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack or apetizer. We had it for breakfast: //Bread of choice (ours was marble rye) //Dijon mustard //Cheese (see above) //Apple (Fuji, Jonagold or Granny Smith) cut into thin slices //Preheat oven - 350 is good. //On sliced bread, apply mustard. //On mustard, apply sliced cheese. //Bake until perfect. //On toasts, apply thin apple slices. //Apply a smidgen of salt on thin apple slices. //Toasts can then be applied directly to open mouth.

Sunday, February 26, 2006


No, we are not deceased or abondoning our BLOG. We have simply been living the typical celebrity lifestyle, full of parties and dinners out. I am working on concocting a vegetarian version of Taco Bell's Cheesy Gordita (you know, the one thats "good to go"). Well dammit, I love saying "good to go" and bought one of these frisbee diarhea gorditas on the way to Houston a while ago. It sucked to the max. And all it gave me was remorse. Remorse that such a good idea and catchy marketing campaign could be misused in such a diabolical way. Now people, if I can get the formula for a decent vegetarian version on a lock, I will be a millionaire faster than you can say "Yo MTV Raps". I'm just sayin'.

Monday, February 20, 2006


KJJ: We found our record of the mighty Burger Tex War. See, we had this disagreement in the car as to what was the most logical and quick route to accomplishing 3 goals: picking up cash from HQ aka The Apartment, returning the Zabriskie Point video (did you know the original cut was supposed to end with a plane skywriting "Fuck You America"? Gosh!), and obtaining our precious Burger Tex. The controlled variable in our logic match was that you can call ahead to pick up your order. Being that we be geniuses, we debated two opposing plans as we drove around Hyde Park. It was like Reagan meeting Gorby at the Reikjavik summit in the 80s: two clashing philosophies (mine obviously making more sense), and tensions running high. After we got back to the apartment we put our political theories down on paper. As you can clearly see, JRW's plan on the left made twice as many trips and would have taken twice as long and was stupid, as I indicated. My plan on the right is seamless, efficient, and sublime, but TOTALLY f**king FELL APART when JRW dropped the bomb on me, after all this discussion, that we had to return the video to HOLLYWOOD VIDEO, not I LUV VIDEO!!! Shudder. This was my Waterloo, this was my Vietnam... This was my Plains of Abraham and I was the French... but I got fries in the end, so it worked out good! JRW: See, I had an upper hand here, and I played it. The first rule of war is to know your enemy. Well, somewehere else on the list is a rule abou knowing your environment. Our kung fu pal Tigre Liu ius always telling me to be aware of my surroundings. KJJ was not, and I was. Subsequently, I quietly and patiently won. Also, if you look closely ( go ahead, click on it, STUDY IT), you can see a sketch of a little person yelling angrily, and next to it, a drawing of Janice, the hippie guitar player from the Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem band, of muppets fame, yelling.) KNOW THE LEDGE, JANICE! KNOW THE LEDGE!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

oooooooh SNAP!

Have you ever sauteed snap peas in butter with rainbow colored radishes, salt and pepper, and scallions? Has a dinosaur ever told you he loved you? Well.... ....I love you.


This curry is on the mild side, so those of us with tastebuds that crave the fire of hate and the warmth of the underworld, those of us that eat our curries 6 feet underground shaded by Lucifer's lended hand... those people may want to add more curry powder. But since I got this recipe from friggin' OPRAH WINFREY its pretty mild and pretty damn delicious (homegirl knows her food). VEGETABLE CURRY //olive oil //1 sliced onion //2 med potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch wedgies //2 tbsp minced ginger //3 cloves garlic //1 tsp curry powder //1tsp ground cumin //1 tsp turmeric (this looks like a lot of ingredients, but its really not, as long as you have a properly stocked spice rack. which you should, otherwise, this conversation is over.) //1 can thin, cheap, generic brand tomato sauce (used as a broth) +plus water //1 can coconut milk //salt //1 med cauliflower, cut into florets. florets is New York Art Fag slang for small pieces. //2 zucchinis, cut in half lengthwise, then crosswise into 1/4 inch half circles. //1 cup frozen peas //3 tbsp chopped cilantro, pour le garnishessemente extraordinaire. //heat oil, add onion, cookify for 3 mins. that is how ALL recipes start. //add taters, gingers, garlicers, curry & spices, and liquids. bring to a boil and reduce heat, cover and simmer 10 mins. //at this point it should smell really good, the ravi shankar should be cranked on your stereo, or maybe some bollywood soundtracks, neighbourhood stray cats should be scratching on your door to get some of those good smelling vittles, you should be lost in thought reminiscing about your LONG-PAST girlhood on the beach in S. India, where did the time go, is it too late to go to law school?, do I have more or less wrinkles than other women my age, etc... //add cauliflower, peas, and zucchini, cook another 10 mins. KJJ: JRW had to be chased away from devouring this. Literally. I busted him in the kitchen stealing a bowl. I think that was a good sign. PS If you want a very similar tasting curry, and you happen to live in Austin TX USA, head over to CoCos on the drag. They do a curry almost identical to this on deep-fried tofu and dudes it is SO BANGIN'. JRW: I could have had like, 18 bowls of this. I was feling stingy the next day, and almost took all the leftovers to work with me, but thought about how KJ would get bummerino'd, so I left a dollop or two. After lunch though, I wanted more. I hear when you smoke crack, it's like falling in love, and then like 10 minutes afterwards, you want another rock. I now know the feeling, but you know, rEerpLasce tHe cRrack with this awe$ome curry.


FETTUCINE WITH LEEKS AND WHITE BEANS //pasta //olive oil //bunch of leeks, white part and light green part only, sliced thin //can o' cannellini beans, drained //can o tomato sauce, the thin cheap kind (used as a broth) //dried sage //dried thyme //fresh lemon juice //cream or milk - whatever you prefer - use your eyeballs and tastebuds to gauge the amount //parsley for the garnishment of garnage //make pasta. //heat oil, add leeks, S&P, cook till soft, give'r ten mins or so. //later, when you are ready and feel comfortable, and have closure on the leek relationship, move on and add the beans. add beans and all that other junk. bring to a boil and reduce to simmer. cook until thick but soupy. //important: mash about 1/3 of the beans with a fork or potato masher. makes a nice consistency. //apply sauce to pasta. or, if you live in the eastern hemisphere, apply pasta to sauce. //serve with other edibles and other drinkables.


KJJ: JRW got really giddy when I mentioned Burger Tex; so Burger Tex it was. I dig it because they do a Veggie Burger (I know, weird). JRW knows them by name there, and he placed the order, so I'll let him explain how swishy it was for him to roll up in a PT Cruiser with a UK Elle Decor magazine in the back seat and pick up a Veggie Burger for his wife- saying adios to his bachelorhood forever... JRW: Come take a ride on the BT Express. It's like, the best burger you will ever have. Some say Dirty's is better, but that's because they're just afraid to roll down Airport. BT is for the real. Get to know the combo menu. You like going into a COMA after you eat? Wicked. Then do this: Get the #1 (it's a 6 oz, they sell and 8 oz, too, I think it's a #3 ad it is insanely gut-stuffing), add some SWISH cheese (their pronunciation, not mine-that's why they RULE) and grilled mushrooms. Dawg, it is FOR REAL. So juicy, so grilly, so yummy. Comes with their new-version fries, second in radness only to Hyde Park Bar and Grill. Oh and a Coke. Call 'em up, Larry and crew will have that shizz waiting for you in like, 5 minutes, no joke. Wear pants with a loose waist, or just take the pants 0ff. Have you ever sat on the couch in your boxers, skarfin' down a wicked monster burger while watching downhill skiing? F'ing weird, huh?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


JRW: So, after like maybe a month and a half, I was finally free of the stupid constraints of my hand splint, and I wanted to cook some grub for my special lady. For being way out of practice, I guess it wasn't SO bad. I fried up the tilapia in a mix of flour and breadcrumbs, seasoned with lots of pepper, and a few random thyme-ish spices. It turned out fine, but the pan wasn't having it, nor was my patience, and the fish sort of got messy, which I made acceptable by chopping ito "bits". The asparagus, well...you know, I couldn't use my damn had for almost 2 months! I mean, I couldn't do a THING! Couldn't button my shirts, couldn't tie my shoes, couldn't shave, couldn't drive, couldn't sign birthday cards...SO I BUNGED UP SOME ASPARAGUS. SUE ME. The salad was pretty good, though. With grapes!


JRW: It's the dilemma we have here at Hobo Junction. We get a new isue of Herbivore in the mail on Friday, then drive 30 miles outof town with our goony friends to eat at some place where you're greeted at the entrance by giant pits of delicious smelling PORK RIBS. Texas BBQ is as good as it gets, and in Lockhart, the gettin's good. Smitty's was a treat, and for $10 you can get 3 Miller High Lifes, a DR. Pepper, a bowl of beans and a block of chedar cheese. Say WHAT?!? The look of joy. Look at that piece of brisket, it's like BLACK...pure carmelized love. Hey look, it's that ex-broken hand!


KJJ: This was actually fuggin delicious. Rich as s**t, but healthy-like. To make the pasta sauce: toast a pile of walnuts in the oven, 10 mins. Make sure you dont overheat it or you'll busta nut HAW HAW HAW. In the blender, annihilate those walnuts with some milk, 3 cloves of garlic, about a cup of parsley. Put the blended mixture in a little pan on the stove to warm it up. Serve over spinach pasta. In this case, we did FUSION, meaning the noodles were green tea udon noodles. Yes bitches, we did that! And no New York food critic is going to tell us we cant. The salad is a blend of garden greens and herbs, including DILL, only the best herb ever and I will wrestle anyone in a muddy cage match who says otherwise, ya dig? Salad dressing was a superb mixture of 1 part yogurt, 1 part sour cream, smidgen of white wine vinegar, S&P. Oh, dont forget the fuji apple slices and grapes! After we ate this we went and watched R Kelly's Trapped In The Closet. Oh, you havent heard of it? Oh, you haven't been to Europe? Oh, you don't have The Crucifucks Wisconsin on vinyl?...

Friday, February 10, 2006


KJJ: The top photo is fried bananas & walnuts. That part was desert. JRW goes ape-shit for those bananas. Even though this is only the first time he's had them. And I didnt really fry them so much as "heat them up in a pan with some oil". Bottom photo is tofu and asparagus stir-fry. The trick is 2 parts rice wine vinegar, 1 part soy sauce. That is it. Listen bitches, don't bother with all those sickly, sticky stir-fry sauces. Don't drown the veggies. Just put that magic formula with some garlic and ginger and you will make the motherf**king freshest stir-fry. (I'm trying to award myself a prize for most profanity-laden food blog). Weird thing, Central Market sells ginger root from Germany (!) for $7.99/lb. Meanwhile, right beside it is ginger root from Asia for $1.99/lb. In conclusion, I refuse to purchase any "Asian" products from Central Market. I support making the extra trip to the fine, fine Asian markets (so many of them in North Austin). Support small businesses! Their stuff is always way cheaper. JRW: Hey, KJJ, let me help with the profanity up in this piece: This motherf**king shizz was delicioso. KJJ: Fuck yeah. I love you long time, babe.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


We couldnt help it. The past three days have been nothing but El Chilito and Trudy's. I am pretty sure the world will be able to carry on quite nicely without our posts and pictures of the tacos. When I, KJJ, was still living in Canada and missing JRW who was living here in Austin, I used to try to cheer myself up by concocting really shitty D.I.Y. tex-mex using really shitty ingredients from 7-11. It just doesn't work, especially when you have to carry home the groceries in the snow. Since moving here I have heard many hip Austinites groan and criticize the plethora of tex-mex places (which I guess I can understand). But while JRW and myself live here, we plan on enjoying it! When we move to Montreal we will enjoy the genuine bagels. When we move to Vancouver we will enjoy the cheap sushi. When we move to Thailand, goddammit, we will ENJOY THE SOUP!!! I guess what I'm trying to say here, and the main message I'm trying to convey, is... we like food. JRW: Damn rights.

Monday, February 06, 2006


KJJ: The quest for the vegetarian taco has been successful! These are from El Chilito - cheap, delicious, and were pumped full of flavourful zucchini, corn, onions and cheese. So non-vegan, but still a start in this carnivorous state I call temporary and/or permanent home. The puffy tacos in the beef variety are a big hit with JRW. Stupidly addictive, be ye warned. My "fish tacos around Texas" column is forthcoming. Wildly different varieties have been found at Tampico in Houston, Trudy's in Austin, El Sol Y La Luna in Austin, El Chilito and El Chile in Austin.... JRW: El Chilto. Nuff said. It's a great thing, dscovering a new taco joint. This one I'd heard some rumbling about, and so we sought it out. We're happy to say, it's as good as you can imagine, and pretty nice on the hobo wallet as well. I personally think those little puffy tacos are the best around, and have been pivotal in the rekindling of my burning love of tacos. They're just that good. It's tacos like these that make it hard to go veg for this Texan.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Acorn Squash with Mushrooms & Onions, Rice with Herbs //bake 1/2 acorn squash upside down in 1/4 inch of water, 400 degrees, 35 mins. //saute sliced mushrooms & onions. season with salt and pepper. //add mushroom mixture to inside of hollowed out acorn squash, top with Australian Cheddar cheese & a little bit of paprika. //return to oven for a few more minutes until cheese melts / browns. //rice is prepared with a dash of oil, fresh chopped parsley, 1/4 cup orange juice, turmeric, tarragon, coriander. turmeric and orange juice will turn it bright yellow. to match your squash.