Friday, March 24, 2006


JRW: 13 beans. 2 people. Who'll win? I'll tell you. You will. Because I will regale you with a tale so sweet it will make your teeth ache. It begins 5 days ago, in a small Texas town known to locals as Lockhart (see previous post: "SMITTY'S TEXAS BBQ EXPEDITION"-ed), where a throng of tired, slightly greasy poster atists got greasier in a smokehouse hallway. A sausage link was procured. Many, in fact. A few were brought home to our refrigerator. It was a happy time. Fast forward 3 days. JRW, in an emergency trip to the local grocery shoppe, is struck by a moneysaving idea. 13 bean soup. It will be good, and it will last for days, and everyone in the 805 B alliance will be happy, including Tortellini and Lil' Budddy. I don't know why, but they will be. Fast forward some more, but maybe with the "search" button instead-JRW soaks the beans. For 12 hours. KJJ seems worried, but she trusts JRW, and with good reason, for he LIVED on beans in his previous life at BENNETT. Oh, BENNETT. JRW knows that it will help warm up KJJ, who has fallen gavenly ill in a post-SXSW fever. He tells her to relax, take a shower, and prepare for the healening. Then, he chops up a 1015 onion (which are super sweet, and don't sting your eyeballs), a few cloves of garlic ( the key healening ingredient-alchemists take note), some celery...throws it into a big pot, and softens it all up in peanut oil (because supply shortages have left the olive oil provisions extra low). THEN, LO AND BEHOLD, the sausage RE-APPEARS, slices itself up and jumps into the mix! Then, JRW adds a bunch of water (not too much-cover the beans, basically). Oh, and then he adds...THE 13 BEAN MEGA-MIXXX. He serves it with some white rice, and everyone, the fish included, are happy, the end. Bye. Oh yeah, we forgot to take pics, but it wasn't very pretty anyway. And it was good enough that we both ate 2 bowls of it. The end, bye. KJJ: Everytime I eat a bean or a seed, I am amazed that there is the potential for an entire plant to grow out of said bean or seed. And thusly, an entire forest of plants from the resulting beans and seeds. We basically ATE INFINITY. When you eat a piece of meat, the only potential result of the meat is death and decay and rot. When I think about it, we ate INFINITY times THIRTEEN. Thirteen beans... thirteen beans. It has come to my attention that I have a fever and I am delirious.