Wednesday, September 27, 2006


KJJ: Ever since Ramadan hit, I have been pigging the f**k out. Its my way of saying thanks. JRW: It's funny because it's true. And she's taking me along with her. I can eat my weight in good food though. I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked where it all goes. "My leg is hollow ", I share, in my old man humor-speak. Texans, I tell ya! You see those things up there? They're aren't Texan, they're GYOZA, along with some SCRUMPTIOUS mushrooms, cooked in a teriyaki marinade. Yeah, talk about throwing some radness together. She took it to the house! You know what that means? YEAH< ME NEITHER! HAPPY RAMADAN!


KJJ: Whats so "Special"? Oh, Ruby's BBQ, thats all. JRW forgot our camera so we didnt get a picture of our dinners. But I can tell you that we were seated beside local Austin rock stars. I wont embarass myself by naming them. Because I embarassed myself enough when I flashed them and asked for their signatures and sat on their laps and spoon fed them barbecue sauce. Why did we eat at Ruby's? The answer is simple and complicated at the same time. Number one, I had some blood work done at the doctors office and I was woozey and disoriented. My hemogoblin count was way down. In fact, I barely remember driving home from the doctors office. I remember somehow gravitating to the fine cheese department of Central Market and buying a bottle of wine. When I got home JRW seemed enchanted by my request to eat red meat (for the hemogoblins). Do you like my joke above? See, I turned the famous song by the Specials, "A Message to You Rudy"... but I made it about Ruby's. Which is equally special.

Monday, September 25, 2006


KJJ: Ever wondered what the inside of a cabbage roll looks like? KJJ: Do you find yourself wanting a radish, but are sick and tired of the round radishes and you want something LONG AND SKINNY? JRW: It looks like KJJ took a discreet spy photo of something the government doesn't want you to see. Was she at Area 51 while I was in the restroom? What happened? What are these really? Remember in "Repo Man" when Emilio Estevez was shown the photo of what was in the trunk of the car everyone was after, and he laughed and then I think "Pablo Picasso" came on? It's kinda like that, except this time I'm not 13, sitting in the laundry room watching the edited version on Channel 13 on a 7" portable black and white tv screen while writing anarchy symbols on my jeans with bleach.


KJJ: Holy crapamoly its been nice in Austin lately, weatherwise. I finally got to take a walk. And no walk is complete without purchasing olive pesto for dinner. The old man and me strolled down to the store and grabbed pre-made organic olive pesto. Its easy enough to make yourself if you have a food processor. I mixed this onto fettucine and added a bounty of minced walnuts and feta cheese. Let me restate that so we are clear. Pasta + pesto + walnuts + feta. Got it? The green beans were prepared "fat" style. Lots of butter. I am digging this awesome Somerdale English butter. Made from cows that have British accents, neat huh? And it only has 300,000 calories per ounce. The ladies that work in the cubicles next to me would find that last fact FASCINATING as all they ever f**king talk about is their goddamned boring as hell food CRAVINGS. Why they so hungry all the time? All that is required of them is to sit on their butts? Anyways, I think you will appreciate these sweet buttered beans, they are 200,000 years ahead of their time: melt the butter and lightly saute the washed and trimmed green beans. Green beans will set you back approximately 0.03 cents per pound. When almost all the butter dissapears add enough water to cover. This will steam them and soften them a bit. Stare directly at them while they cook and send, like, really intense love vibes. When nearly all the water is cooked off, add milk to cover, a dash of cream and sprinkle flour, salt and sugar. Cook for another 10 or 15 mins.

Sunday, September 24, 2006


Cabbage Rolls //get the biggest cabbage money can buy. //boil it whole until it turns dark green. //meanwhile cook rice. //meanwhile fry minced mushrooms, a green pepper, minced onions with salt and pepper, a touch of rosemary, and a touch of paprika. resist the temptation to add italian spices like basil or oregano. for this is a POLISH meal. //frying some minced bacon is optional. it does add some flavour, but then you've gone and killed a gentle animal for your dinner. these are fine without meat. never ever make a cabbage roll using ground beef. //remove the cabbage from the boiling water and when its cool enough very carefull peel the leaves off. getting 12 leaves out of 1 cabbage is great. I asked JRW to put on some cabbage roll making music while I cooked these. fortunately we DO own that LP of Russian Classics that the kids are so crazy about. //fill each leaf with rice, the mushroom & onion mixture and some more salt and pepper. //lightly oil a casserole dish and add maybe a quarter cup of tomato sauce to the bottom. nestle the little cabbage rolls together in the dish. pour more tomato sauce overtop of them until they are just covered. //bake at about 375 for half an hour or so. KJJ: Cabbage rolls are delicious and what I usually cook at Christmas or when I have a busy week and want to prepare some dinners in advance. The problem is, I love them so much I gobble them down and they dont usually last too long. JRW had never had them before I cooked them in Canada for him. Its a regional thing. I miss the little ethnic mom'n'pop cafes that you usually find in a big city, Eastern European, Greek, Middle Eastern hole'n'the walls that will like sell you tobacco and kalamata olives and also take any bets you might like to place on the horse races. Oh Jesus Christ I forgot to mention the Lemon Meringue pie that JRW brought home for me. This is all I want in life. Lemon Meringue pie. But back to the cabbage rolls. The variety food rolled into cabbage around the world is simply stunning. I was aware of the asian variety (delicious but usually heavy on the pork) but until just now, did not know there is a Finnish variety. I must attempt these. The future of middle earth depends on it. They are called "Kaalikaaryleet". I do not know what measurement a "dl" is. I am also not sure what "cabbage cooking liquid" is?


(for four - five persons)

- 1 large white cabbage - water, salt 1 tsp/1 l Filling: - 400 g of lean minced pork or beef - 1 onion - 1 dl cabbage cooking liquid - 2 dl chopped cabbage
- 2 dl boiled rice - 1 tsp salt - 1/4 tsp white pepper - 1 tsp marjoram Topping: - 1-2 tblsp syrup - butter or margarine - Cabbage cooking water for basting Gravy: - 3 dl pan juice - 2 tblsp flour - a little cream

Cut the stalk off the cabbage and cook the cabbage in salted water until the leaves are soft. You can carefully loosen the outer leaves as they soften. Lift the cooked cabbage onto a large plate to drain. Loosen the leaves one by one and chop the small inner leaves for the filling.

Finely chop the onion and fry in small amount of oil until translucent but not brown. Combine the meat, rice, chopped cabbage and seasonings into a smooth mixture. If the mixture is too thick, add some more of the cabbage cooking water.

Flatten the cabbage leaves. Lift a good tablespoonful of filling onto the leaf and roll it up tucking the edges round the mixture.

Place the rolls side by side in a baking dish, pour syrup and a little fat over them.

Bake the rolls for 1 hour at 200 °C. Half way turn the rolls over and baste them every now and then with the cabbage water.

Strain the pan juices and thicken with flour mixed with water. Add a little cream.

Serve the cabbage rolls with boiled potatoes and lingonberry purée.


Oh yes, lingonberry puree. I have cans and cans of that in my pantry. No problemo. Here's a link to some Chinese cabbage rolls that look very very pretty. And finally, I found a recipe for Mexican cabbage rolls. JRW: Yeah, so sometimes my job is to set the mood of the kitchen. I didn't have any Polish music, so I busted out 'Volga Boatmen'. It turned the affair into a bit of a heavy bummer, not the mood for a good cabbage roll dinner, unless you are in a gulag or something. So, I think I switched it to Black Sabbath, which is perfect for ANYTHING ( don't argue with me, it is). If we do the Finnish version, I'll play some Emperor or Mayhem or something.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


KJJ: This is Time Travel Yam Curry. It is called that because it is what we ate for dinner. TWO NIGHTS AGO. In all honesty its not so much a "curry". Its more like a cilantro lemony tikka masala. It consists entirely of chickpeas and sweet potatoes aka. YAAAMMMMMS. JRW ate so much he nearly 'sploded and couldnt laugh because it hurt so much. On the subject of dinner conversation: I tried to tell JRW a story but apparently I was interrupting the precious Grand Funk Railroad grooves and he looked at me gently and put his finger to his lips and said..."shhhhhh". He has also stopped what he was doing several times to make mini air guitar riffs. "Here comes the best part." "This is the best part." "This part sounds like an alien cat." "Or a panther. An angry panther." "You'll like this song, its about a long cold winter." "This is just good rock." "I love this sound. Listen here it comes again." "This makes me want to smoke pot." "Oh my gosh that a Beastie Boys sample!" [Don't you mean the Beastie Boys sampled this?] "Yeah! Thats what I said!"


KJJ: Bienvenudes amigolos, here we see Francine with some Chicken Cacciatore and a nice glass of milk. This photo should be in the freakin' Louvre. To make a cheater's cacciatore do this: Soften onions in olive oil, sprinkle with ground thyme. Add chicken and brown the outsides. Sprinkle with thyme, basil, salt and pepper. Add some mushrooms and zucchini. Simmer in a tomato based sauce. This feels like a good home cooked meal, son-of-a-gun. Be sure to listen to the entire Grand Funk Railroad album while you eat it. None of this MP3 business. Sprinkle with Parmesan and lay on bed of al dente pasta. OH MAN Jeffrey Steingarten is pumping out some great food articles in Vogue. Jeffrey Steingarten should be in the freakin' Louvre.

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Nooooo............KJJ: Above, chopped spicy beef, spicy bbq beans, creamy coleslaw. Those square things are white breads, like duh. Above, sliced snausage, black beans, mustard potato salad, assorted onions'n'pickles. And white breads. My initial comments to JRW: thank you for bringing me to your country. We met up with some wonderful friends from Mississippi. Personally, I love how their accents all sound like Britney Spears. One of our companions tried to eat three different animals on one plate. With regard to this meal, its really hard to explain Texas BBQ. And its hard to explain how it converts vegetarians (everyone we shared this meal with at once time was a vegetarian). The first thing I would try to mention is the wonderful smell. Everytime I drive down Red River street into downtown I get a whiff of it and it reminds me of being in India or someplace. For me, its the smell. It gets me like those old cartoons of characters following their nose to dinner. Its also usually a meal you share with people. And sharing is good. People are good. Sharing with people. Good. Sharing. Much discussion was had about the renegade E Coli bacteria infested bagged spinach. Thats some pretty gnarly stuff. Nobody is going to want to eat their spinach now. I'd like to mention that packaged salads are the most dangerous things you can buy at fast food places, because they do not cook them, hence no chance of bacterias being obliterated by the heat. Some deep thoughts: Does it matter how you die? Montreal: Hail of bullets. One dead, many injured. US: Bad spinach. One dead, many sick. ???? In other apartment news, I have obtained a new cookbook that I am very excited about called "ASIAN" and its focus is... ummmm.... Asian food. I'm pumped because it seems to have a good assortment of tropical Asian and Indian recipes. A nice combo.


KJJ: This is a recipe my old friend and housemate Gayle made once. I have a mind of steel so I instantly memorized the details of its construction and have cooked it often over the years. //heat oil, add like 6 cloves of minced garlic (yeah, lots and lots. cancel any plans you have for the evening). //slice a load of roma tomatoes into quarters or eighths. this time i used cherry tomatoes. they were so-so. cook in the oil until they're soft and release the juices. mmm.... juices. //boil pasta. what you are seeing above is something the italians call... "rigatoni". //once everything is done, stir it all together in the pot. drizzle some olive oil, and heres the kicker-- sprinkle a small handful of basil into it. stir. serve. //oops I forgot to mention the feta. the feta! you need lots to make it tasty. you crumble or slice little cubes of it and put it into the pasta. we all know its the best part, so dont be stingy. Hey, so the SWAT team stormed a house by our studio. Thats a story for another blog. Just... puttin' that out there.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


HURRY! DINNER'S READY!! KJJ: So the boss says to me, he says, "you gotta update your hobo site", and I'm all muttering to myself under my breath as I eat my tuna sandwich, "the only boss I listen to is Springsteen", but then I think to myself, self, "you gotta update your hobo site." So there you have it. I've missed posting some gems, some real doozies... some bona fide gourmet creations. We had the heebie jeebies over posting for a while since JRW got semi-stalked (you know who you are). We dont want to write about certain barbershops anymore, for example. Thats for the birds. But I digress. May I present, a typical Thursday at like the fucking coolest duplex in Austin: Still life with Cajun Alaskun Salmun, and Butter Zucchini w/ Baby Lima Beans. The salmon looks skimpy cause thats my plate and I was feeling finicky tonight. Oh why do I lie? I was feeling like a fat-ass so I gave the bigger piece to JRW.