Monday, February 20, 2006
BURGER TEX WAR
KJJ: We found our record of the mighty Burger Tex War. See, we had this disagreement in the car as to what was the most logical and quick route to accomplishing 3 goals: picking up cash from HQ aka The Apartment, returning the Zabriskie Point video (did you know the original cut was supposed to end with a plane skywriting "Fuck You America"? Gosh!), and obtaining our precious Burger Tex. The controlled variable in our logic match was that you can call ahead to pick up your order. Being that we be geniuses, we debated two opposing plans as we drove around Hyde Park. It was like Reagan meeting Gorby at the Reikjavik summit in the 80s: two clashing philosophies (mine obviously making more sense), and tensions running high. After we got back to the apartment we put our political theories down on paper. As you can clearly see, JRW's plan on the left made twice as many trips and would have taken twice as long and was stupid, as I indicated. My plan on the right is seamless, efficient, and sublime, but TOTALLY f**king FELL APART when JRW dropped the bomb on me, after all this discussion, that we had to return the video to HOLLYWOOD VIDEO, not I LUV VIDEO!!! Shudder. This was my Waterloo, this was my Vietnam... This was my Plains of Abraham and I was the French... but I got fries in the end, so it worked out good! JRW: See, I had an upper hand here, and I played it. The first rule of war is to know your enemy. Well, somewehere else on the list is a rule abou knowing your environment. Our kung fu pal Tigre Liu ius always telling me to be aware of my surroundings. KJJ was not, and I was. Subsequently, I quietly and patiently won. Also, if you look closely ( go ahead, click on it, STUDY IT), you can see a sketch of a little person yelling angrily, and next to it, a drawing of Janice, the hippie guitar player from the Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem band, of muppets fame, yelling.) KNOW THE LEDGE, JANICE! KNOW THE LEDGE!