![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/coconut.jpg)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
TACO WAR PREMONITIONS AND COCONUT-FACE REMINDER
KJJ: Recently in the Austin chronicle, a small article of some interest appeared that most people probably bypassed, but of which I took GREAT note. Apparently, El Dorado Meat Market (located next to Tamale House) is going to start selling tacos. This put a knot in Tamale House's undies and it somehow made news. Personally, I think that to be where your competition is, is essentially good business. But the main reason I am interested in documenting these developing taco wars is... we can almost watch them from our living room window. Thats right, we live a hop-skip-and train track-jump away from the impending battle zone. And I got a jar full of quarters ready to spend on my breakfast tacos.
For those that arent from the Tex-zone, a breakfast taco is a mild, unassuming creature, usually valued at approximately 80 cents. They dont seem like much, but they will go DOWN for a comrade (you, the eater) and sacrifice themselves to save you from crushing hangovers, morning hunger, or sometimes even mid-morning hunger. Tamale House as recently as Saturday morning saved my life.
KJJ: Lets talk about the Taco wars.
JRW: My main concern is that I hope I don't get wounded eating all those tacos.
KJJ: What do you foresee happening?
JRW: I think Tamale house will have to reduce their price again and it will be just like 1992 and every crusty punk and heroin junky could eat there really cheap for pocket change. Thus the legacy of Tamale house will prevail. I dont think El Dorado stands a chance. I've been in there, I've seen the conditions. I think their generals are disorganized.
KJJ: Lets back up a minute. El Dorado is way more organized! They're all neat and tidy inside...
JRW: They look good on the surface, but I got bad vibes from El Dorado.
KJJ: You're just talking to make your mouth move.
JRW: They were all oogling some 16 year old girl, it was totally creepy.
KJJ: Don't you think that people will be interested in trying something new?
JRW: Its going to be hard to get people to veer away from Tamale House. El Dorado is going to have to have an incredible taco.
KJJ: I can tell you one thing, that parking lot is going to be a clusterfuck.
JRW: That parking lot is already a clusterfuck... Whoever has the cheapest tacos is going to win the war.
KJJ: You know who I think is going to win? Whoever opens on Sunday. One of them needs to say, screw you Jesus, I am not going to church today.
JRW: Whoever the pagan is, wins.
KJJ: Whoever the cheapest pagan is, wins.
__________________________________________
On another note, I would also like to remind readers that the picture of the coconut that showed up in our fridge still needs a caption. Look at it, all needy needy needy... Please email apartmenthobos at hotmail.com with your caption. There will be an awesome prize and when I say awesome prize, I am as serious as the Berlin Wall. I will announce the winning caption on June 1st.
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/coconut.jpg)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
I'M BACK.
JRW: Hola blog, it's been a long time since I rappped at ya. I've been so busy lately, with the Festiva and all, I MEAN, FESTIVITIES. You see, it was my birthday last week. I know what you're thinking, why did my birthday prevent me from writing you in 3 weeks? Well, dude, you know, things just HAPPEN. Life, sometimes it just gets in the way-you get up in the morning, go to work all day, and you're like, "yeah, I could probably write the blog, but let me just check craigslist real quick and see if anyone's selling any scooters. Oh SNAP, an Ensoniq EPS, for $125? Dang, I need to scoop that up! Let me just check my bank account and see how muh I have left...Oh man, did I pay the phoen bill?". Yeah, you know how it is. And then, it was my birthday, and man, I've been ROYALLY distracted because I scored so many wicked goodies, and had such a great party thrown for me by my sweet ol' lady...did I tell you I scored some new knives? HELLS YEAH. Henckels. Damn right, they feel good, cut good, and look good (I know it should be cut WELL, but I'm taking my poetic license, YO). I also got some bamboo cutting boards, a 3 cup espresso maker (since I spaced out and torched KJJ's and melted the handle), and this yellow skillet-it's like Elle Decor come the life in my house. So, yeah. I've been a little preoccupied. I'm really, really sorry. For real.
So.
Are we straight?
Cool. check the sandwich I made to be the counterpart to KJJ's "The Martha". It's a tiny little morsel, powerful because it is jammed with flavor. Here's the outline: 10 grain bread (it's like a kung fu move), 3 slices of cucumber, horseradish, spicy dijon and 2 pieces of Knight's Vale cheese. I spared myself the mystical healing powers of kimchee, so I quite pleasantly mine. It's also only about 3 inches from end to end. Therefore, it has come to ber known as "The Liliputian".
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/lili%20copy.jpg)
NEW SANDWICH CREATED: "THE MARTHA"
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/marth4.jpg)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/marth3.jpg)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/marth2.jpg)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/marth1.jpg)
![](http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/4871/c6e7tyraism9fv.gif)
CAPTION ME CONTEST
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/coconut.jpg)
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
NEW BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE
![](http://i.mynicespace.com/1/191.gif)
SUPREME ASIAN GRAINS MY LOVELIES
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/salad.3.jpg)
Sunday, May 21, 2006
BIRTHDAY BONANZA STILL LIFE!
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/food.jpg)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/cake.jpg)
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I AM CURIOUS YELLOW SALMON SANDWICH
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/olives.png)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/sammy.png)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
WHY TRY THAI APARTMENT SALAD?
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/thaisalad.jpg)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/onions.0.jpg)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/beef.0.jpg)
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/dressing.jpg)
Saturday, May 13, 2006
KERBEY PAIN
KJJ: Just had the world's crummiest brunch at Kerbey Lane. The usually satisfying experience of eating there was backed over by a pick-up truck of dissapointment, sadness, and regret. This is time we're never going to get back, my homies. My time is precious, not Kerbey Lane's time. My time. This is my time. It does not take an hour for the runniest eggs ever to be made and brought to our table. I know it doesnt. No explanation our courtesy was extended. Here's what happened:
11:30 - JRW and I order. He has your usual breakfast platter. I have salmon tacos.
12:00 - After like 1/2 a painful hungover hour we see people that sat down after us getting their food.
12:05 - Our waitress remains silent and unavailable. We remain the only table without food. I start seeing pixies dancing in front of me due to hunger. I can't shake my hangover until I eat.
12:10 - Our food arrives. How long does it take to fry an egg?
12:12 - JRW's eggs disintegrate into the runniest mess of yolk I've ever seen. We are gripped by confusion. Send them back and risk another 20 minute wait? My plate comes without salsa our salad dressing.
12:15 - JRW sends eggs back. Our waitress exchanges his plate for a smaller one whereupon his pancakes and bacon sit, lonesome. Apparently he is now obliged to eat his breakfast in shifts. This part was the saddest. Everyone else was chowing on their nice, festive breakfast platters. JRW had a small, blank plate with two pancakes. JRW deserves better. JRW does not deserve a breakfast shaming. At the very least he deserved an apology or acknowledgement from the waitress.
12:17 - The eggs return. We calculate it only took 2 or 3 minutes this time - why'd it take so long before?
These are questions I need answered. I'm thinking when the FBI is done raiding the CIA, they can send their swat teams into the kitchen of Kerbey Lane. Hey dudes, we're not assholes and we're not picky people, and we feel the pain of our brothers and sisters working in busy restaurants. But c'mon... We've been workin' hard for our money too.
The good stuff: our orange juice was fan-fucking-tastic, like the best we've ever had. And the kick-ass impromptu bike gang that rolled up gave us the sweat and shakes of jealous inspiration.
Peace out peeps.
-KJJ
Friday, May 12, 2006
2006: A SNAKE ODYSSEY
KJJ: Last night we took a nature walk and almost got gnarlified by a 4 foot (at least!!) snake! I don't want to alarm you, but it could have been curtains for us hobos. Fortunately we shot straight up in the air and hauled ass like Mach 6 outta the area where the snake was coiled. And then, for dinner I ate a piece of peach pie from H-E-B, a carrot, and the remnants of some taco chips!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
THIS JUST IN!
A GANG of anarchist Robin Hood-style thieves, who dress as superheroes and steal expensive food from exclusive restaurants and delicatessens to give to the poor, are being hunted by police in the German city of Hamburg.
Monday, May 08, 2006
DIJON CHICKEN MUSTARDPIECE
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/chicken.gif.jpg)
![](http://www.upcheer.com/images/funny_gifs/image007.gif)
![](http://z.about.com/d/austin/1/0/T/G/avenuebgrocery.jpg)
Saturday, May 06, 2006
APARTMENT FUN HOBOS
DEPT. OF SALMON WITH GINGER ORANGE BUTTER AFFAIRS
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/salmon.0.jpg)
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
SPAGHETTI AI PISELLE E PANNA
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/pasta.2.jpg)
OUR DIET IS LIKE AN AVANTI II
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1645/1668/320/Obu.1.jpg)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)