Tuesday, May 30, 2006


KJJ: Recently in the Austin chronicle, a small article of some interest appeared that most people probably bypassed, but of which I took GREAT note. Apparently, El Dorado Meat Market (located next to Tamale House) is going to start selling tacos. This put a knot in Tamale House's undies and it somehow made news. Personally, I think that to be where your competition is, is essentially good business. But the main reason I am interested in documenting these developing taco wars is... we can almost watch them from our living room window. Thats right, we live a hop-skip-and train track-jump away from the impending battle zone. And I got a jar full of quarters ready to spend on my breakfast tacos. For those that arent from the Tex-zone, a breakfast taco is a mild, unassuming creature, usually valued at approximately 80 cents. They dont seem like much, but they will go DOWN for a comrade (you, the eater) and sacrifice themselves to save you from crushing hangovers, morning hunger, or sometimes even mid-morning hunger. Tamale House as recently as Saturday morning saved my life. KJJ: Lets talk about the Taco wars. JRW: My main concern is that I hope I don't get wounded eating all those tacos. KJJ: What do you foresee happening? JRW: I think Tamale house will have to reduce their price again and it will be just like 1992 and every crusty punk and heroin junky could eat there really cheap for pocket change. Thus the legacy of Tamale house will prevail. I dont think El Dorado stands a chance. I've been in there, I've seen the conditions. I think their generals are disorganized. KJJ: Lets back up a minute. El Dorado is way more organized! They're all neat and tidy inside... JRW: They look good on the surface, but I got bad vibes from El Dorado. KJJ: You're just talking to make your mouth move. JRW: They were all oogling some 16 year old girl, it was totally creepy. KJJ: Don't you think that people will be interested in trying something new? JRW: Its going to be hard to get people to veer away from Tamale House. El Dorado is going to have to have an incredible taco. KJJ: I can tell you one thing, that parking lot is going to be a clusterfuck. JRW: That parking lot is already a clusterfuck... Whoever has the cheapest tacos is going to win the war. KJJ: You know who I think is going to win? Whoever opens on Sunday. One of them needs to say, screw you Jesus, I am not going to church today. JRW: Whoever the pagan is, wins. KJJ: Whoever the cheapest pagan is, wins. __________________________________________ On another note, I would also like to remind readers that the picture of the coconut that showed up in our fridge still needs a caption. Look at it, all needy needy needy... Please email apartmenthobos at hotmail.com with your caption. There will be an awesome prize and when I say awesome prize, I am as serious as the Berlin Wall. I will announce the winning caption on June 1st.