LIFE AND DEATH!

Guess what, screwballs? This blog is done! The new one is here: http://apartmentfoodhobos.wordpress.com/ BONUS!!!!! http://apartmentfoodhobos.wordpress.com/ http://apartmentfoodhobos.wordpress.com/ http://apartmentfoodhobos.wordpress.com/ http://apartmentfoodhobos.wordpress.com/

EL SUNDAY CORN HARVEST DINNER DELICIOSO

Corn chowder prepared by Depew Social Society legendary tour de force Chris Sieeeebenthaalerrr. Below, onion cornbread pudding prepared by yours truly, recipe from the 1976 A Texas Hill Country Cookbook purchased in 2005 Calgary, Alberta Canada for one dollar at the used bookstore. Yep, I made some soul food. Mmmmm hmmm. Our complete Sunday dinner. You sir are looking at soup, herb salad w/ home-made vinaigrette, cod baked with mustard wasabi crust, cornbread and corn chowder. And a stack of Italian books on the floor. And now we settle in to a nice long evening of Austin Texas Allergy Attack courtesy of the current rain. JRW: Why do I live in Texas? With allergies like mine? Simple. Corn. I know, you can get corn anywhere. I was just attempting to make a little connection. There is none...except that this awesome corncentric meal was had in Texas. And I have allergies. And hey, isn't Grand Funk just the perfect way to remember this meal by? Yeah, I KNOW!

A PROMENADE OF THE STRANGE

Concerned citizens... two new developments. Number one, our comments thangy is still jacked up. So much spam, so many settings changes, so much confusion. Number two, I got a terrifying email that this site is a "Google Whack". Upon hearing the news I dribbled my mouth full of coffee all over the keyboard and spasmed violently until I heard a "poof" sound whereupon I dissapeared into a cloud of black smoke. After coming too, I attended to Wikipedia where I tried to make sense of the madness. A "Google Whack"? For a second I thought this might mean I was coming close to my LONGTIME dream of making $180 off this site. Some people want to make millions off their websites-- I want to make $180. Anyways, apparently there are two words not joined by quotation marks that will bring up ONE search result on Google-- and ONE ONLY-- and we are that one search result. Here's a list of some others. But the two words... what are the two words? What are the two words?? I want so desperately to know... Peace out nerds, -KJJ

WE'RE DONE EATING - INTERNATIONAL GYOZA KING DAY - GYOZA KING RULES ALL - ONE LAND UNITED UNDER GYOZA KING

Click to see a link to Youtube of our video of the super mysterious AGADASHI TOFU served at Gyoza King (a.k.a. best restaurant in North America) in Vancouver. The bonito flakes dance for like 15 minutes, its amazing. If you feel like eating something that looks like its alive and dancing on your plate, this restaurant is for you. Normally we dont do "restaurant reviews" but Gyoza King is only like our favorite place to eat ever. Do you like feeling like you're in authentic Tokyo but you're stuck in British Columbia?? Try Gyoza King! Above, mussels! Above: Scallops, mushrooms and onions! This was the most amazing thing I've eaten in half a year. Above: The famed gyoza! JRW was all crazy to go to his favorite place in Vancouver, Gyoza King. So I'm gonna, like, let him write all about this place. Take it away JRW... JRW: It took me a week to organize my thoughts about the whole GYOZA KING MIRACLE EXPERIENCE. I'd spent since last February reflecting on his majesty, so I was supremely PUMPED BIG TIME, to have dinner there again-I mean, damn...I flew 2000 miles. Have you flown US AIRWAYS? I thought the plane was gonna fall apart-I thought I was gonna wind up in the ocean, on a life raft, deciding who was gonna be the next meal. But I lived, if only to tell you this: I LOVE GYOZA KING. It was like the best of 3 of my favorite culinary worlds, Japanese and French (The vodka in my greyhound makes 3-Russian, if only for vodka. And stroganoff)). Buttery, gingery mussels in the kind of sauce you really want to just drink, action packed little prawn gyoza..oh man. Fried prawn in a wicked little wasabi mayo-dealie. Oh, and mega-cheap. Like...wicked.

CHEESE FARM ON GRANVILLE ISLAND

KJJ: Yeah you're looking up there at that cheese and jumping up and down like a mouse being tossed around paradise. JRW: Loogies for weeks, people. Amazing.

CANADIAN THANKSGIVING 2006

BEHOLD Cinnamon Sweet Rolls Blue Auvergne Cheese Pepper Pecorino Pineapple & Strawberries Chips & Salsa B-b-b-beer

Yes it happened again like a rash that won't quit, Canadian Thanksgiving. Trust us we are really grown up people. God, Francine looks so cute in this picture, seriously I f**king love that little dog. The blue cheese is from Auvergne where my ancient peeps were from, yes that is in FRANCE. I wish I could be serious for just one minute but its so hard. Okay, this dinner is a statement of optimism and its actually way too deep for you to understand. I mean, when is the last time you said to yourself, its Canadian Thanksgiving I am cranking the oven to 400 for ten minutes and cranking out a six pack of hot buns? This actually happened on Monday but its sort of a cute thing I do when I leave EVERYTHING till the last minute and put off making posts until I have a backlog of 10 meals. Call this a backblog.

LAST NIGHT I ATE A SANDWICH

R.I.P. Sandwich. And R.I.P. Yankee pitcher dude that flew into that building. 10/11 Never F'In Forget. **Edit KJJ: Is this really insensitive? JRW: Who cares. Just cause he can throw a ball really fast? KJJ: I think you mean... he -could- throw a ball really fast...

OH SWEET LORD A LOAD OF CAULIFLOWER CURRIES

KJJ: The original served at Yogi Vegetarian Restaurant on Commercial Drive in Vancoolver, and the imitation served at Our Apartment by the train tracks in Austin Texas UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Oh, I forgot to include some bitchiness in this post but I just remembered I am flat out ANGRY at the Heebmonster a.k.a. H-E-B of Hancock Centre - to my dismay they have seriously ethnically cleansed their shelves of any and all East Indian and Pakistani food products. You think I'm joking? I s**t you not, all curries have been removed, including Major Grey's chutney. Out of 1000 aisles in that stupid store they are now down to like 3 that actually sell food. I am trying to think of a witty way to explain the Indian couple shopping and looking around bummed and dismayed (as I was) in their attempt to locate their long gone familiar products but I cant think of anything here. What a joke. Please email me when H-E-B falls into the Earth, thanks!

THE CURIOUS HISTORY OF HUMAN STUPIDITY

KJJ: Here is a picture of JRW at the Vancouver Aquarium, viewing a fucking MAJESTIC creature of the deep: a Beluga Whale. Yes, we toured the entire aquarium and saw all things great and small, a million exceptional little creatures all with talents that we will never come close to touching. The Vancouver Aquarium accepts sponsorship from Weyerhaeuser paper products. I am supposed to stand in front of their display outlining the forest management system and accept it as "science"? Shame on the Vancouver Aquarium for spreading disinformation. I liked how the display was trying to convince me that somehow forest management is beneficial to the ecosystem. It is beneficial to the paper and lumber industry and nothing further. Here is a picture of the last thing I saw on the way out of the gift shop. I believe this requires no explanation, but I would like to offer my sincerest condolences to the idiot that thought this was appropriate to sell in the gift store of an AQUARIUM, and further condolences to the fish and shelfish that humans have decided are not worthy of aquarium stardom, but ARE worthy of being cooked in garlic and onions.

SUPER JUDY'S SUPER DINNER

KJJ: Oh hey, have you ever had dinner at Judy's? No?? Well suckers, I have-- and let me tell you it is a thing of beauty. You are looking at Salmon with a custardy almost sweet mayonnaise sauce, a perfect quiche, sourdough bread and greek style salad. Go ahead and take a few minutes to feel bad for yourself for not being invited to this dinner. I completely understand. Oh hey, have you ever had dessert at Judy's? NO?! HAHAHAHA too bad! Warm gingerbread with applesauce and vanilla ice cream. I'd like to congratulate Judy for making such a delicious meal. I'd also like to congratulate myself for being invited to eat it. Not only were we served dinner, but we were also invited to tour her superior art studio afterwards; for not only can she cook, she also makes the best textile artwork you've ever seen!! She's a keeper, thats for sure.

VANCOUVER VISUAL STREET FOODSTUFFS EPIC

Note what appears to be a "Top 10" of best sellers... One of many local groceries on Commercial. It is entirely possible to shop locally, eliminating the need for driving a vehicle to bulk chain stores and also saving quite a pretty penny. The same apples that are $1.59 US per pound in Austin were $.49 CDN.

TANPOPO VANCOUVER BRITISH COLUMBIA CANADA

KJJ: I broke my stomach. JRW: I watched it happen.

VANCITY: THE FEASTENING

KJJ: The hobos (us) are in eastside VANCOUVER this week. We have plenty of positive things to report on the state of food in Vancity. In fact, I am so excited I can barely sit still. Do to a crucial brain mis-hap we obtained a giant memory card for our digital camera, but neglected to bring along our USB cable dealy what makes the pictures upload into the computer. So I am going to have to update with photos upon our return to AUSTIN Texas. Chinatown was boss and we were (as expected) run out of stores for taking pictures of some disgusting delicacies such as fish heads, mystery dried sea products, mystery dried fungus products, and general mystery products. Indiatown was also good to us and we s-s-s-scored a quadruple of bitchen' samosas. Little Italy was bueno, the caffe was spectdonkular. The Greeks have also blessed us with some stellar tzaziki. Big ups to Canada, I am crying because my country rules so hard. Anyways, we're gonna holler at you soon with pics and junk.

REVERSE RAMADAN

KJJ: Ever since Ramadan hit, I have been pigging the f**k out. Its my way of saying thanks. JRW: It's funny because it's true. And she's taking me along with her. I can eat my weight in good food though. I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked where it all goes. "My leg is hollow ", I share, in my old man humor-speak. Texans, I tell ya! You see those things up there? They're aren't Texan, they're GYOZA, along with some SCRUMPTIOUS mushrooms, cooked in a teriyaki marinade. Yeah, talk about throwing some radness together. She took it to the house! You know what that means? YEAH< ME NEITHER! HAPPY RAMADAN!

A MESSAGE TO YOU RUBY'S

KJJ: Whats so "Special"? Oh, Ruby's BBQ, thats all. JRW forgot our camera so we didnt get a picture of our dinners. But I can tell you that we were seated beside local Austin rock stars. I wont embarass myself by naming them. Because I embarassed myself enough when I flashed them and asked for their signatures and sat on their laps and spoon fed them barbecue sauce. Why did we eat at Ruby's? The answer is simple and complicated at the same time. Number one, I had some blood work done at the doctors office and I was woozey and disoriented. My hemogoblin count was way down. In fact, I barely remember driving home from the doctors office. I remember somehow gravitating to the fine cheese department of Central Market and buying a bottle of wine. When I got home JRW seemed enchanted by my request to eat red meat (for the hemogoblins). Do you like my joke above? See, I turned the famous song by the Specials, "A Message to You Rudy"... but I made it about Ruby's. Which is equally special.

LORD OF THE ROLLS

KJJ: Ever wondered what the inside of a cabbage roll looks like? KJJ: Do you find yourself wanting a radish, but are sick and tired of the round radishes and you want something LONG AND SKINNY? JRW: It looks like KJJ took a discreet spy photo of something the government doesn't want you to see. Was she at Area 51 while I was in the restroom? What happened? What are these really? Remember in "Repo Man" when Emilio Estevez was shown the photo of what was in the trunk of the car everyone was after, and he laughed and then I think "Pablo Picasso" came on? It's kinda like that, except this time I'm not 13, sitting in the laundry room watching the edited version on Channel 13 on a 7" portable black and white tv screen while writing anarchy symbols on my jeans with bleach.

OLIVE PESTO PASTA WITH SWEET BUTTERED BEANS

KJJ: Holy crapamoly its been nice in Austin lately, weatherwise. I finally got to take a walk. And no walk is complete without purchasing olive pesto for dinner. The old man and me strolled down to the store and grabbed pre-made organic olive pesto. Its easy enough to make yourself if you have a food processor. I mixed this onto fettucine and added a bounty of minced walnuts and feta cheese. Let me restate that so we are clear. Pasta + pesto + walnuts + feta. Got it? The green beans were prepared "fat" style. Lots of butter. I am digging this awesome Somerdale English butter. Made from cows that have British accents, neat huh? And it only has 300,000 calories per ounce. The ladies that work in the cubicles next to me would find that last fact FASCINATING as all they ever f**king talk about is their goddamned boring as hell food CRAVINGS. Why they so hungry all the time? All that is required of them is to sit on their butts? Anyways, I think you will appreciate these sweet buttered beans, they are 200,000 years ahead of their time: melt the butter and lightly saute the washed and trimmed green beans. Green beans will set you back approximately 0.03 cents per pound. When almost all the butter dissapears add enough water to cover. This will steam them and soften them a bit. Stare directly at them while they cook and send, like, really intense love vibes. When nearly all the water is cooked off, add milk to cover, a dash of cream and sprinkle flour, salt and sugar. Cook for another 10 or 15 mins.

BOUNTY OF ROLLS

Cabbage Rolls //get the biggest cabbage money can buy. //boil it whole until it turns dark green. //meanwhile cook rice. //meanwhile fry minced mushrooms, a green pepper, minced onions with salt and pepper, a touch of rosemary, and a touch of paprika. resist the temptation to add italian spices like basil or oregano. for this is a POLISH meal. //frying some minced bacon is optional. it does add some flavour, but then you've gone and killed a gentle animal for your dinner. these are fine without meat. never ever make a cabbage roll using ground beef. //remove the cabbage from the boiling water and when its cool enough very carefull peel the leaves off. getting 12 leaves out of 1 cabbage is great. I asked JRW to put on some cabbage roll making music while I cooked these. fortunately we DO own that LP of Russian Classics that the kids are so crazy about. //fill each leaf with rice, the mushroom & onion mixture and some more salt and pepper. //lightly oil a casserole dish and add maybe a quarter cup of tomato sauce to the bottom. nestle the little cabbage rolls together in the dish. pour more tomato sauce overtop of them until they are just covered. //bake at about 375 for half an hour or so. KJJ: Cabbage rolls are delicious and what I usually cook at Christmas or when I have a busy week and want to prepare some dinners in advance. The problem is, I love them so much I gobble them down and they dont usually last too long. JRW had never had them before I cooked them in Canada for him. Its a regional thing. I miss the little ethnic mom'n'pop cafes that you usually find in a big city, Eastern European, Greek, Middle Eastern hole'n'the walls that will like sell you tobacco and kalamata olives and also take any bets you might like to place on the horse races. Oh Jesus Christ I forgot to mention the Lemon Meringue pie that JRW brought home for me. This is all I want in life. Lemon Meringue pie. But back to the cabbage rolls. The variety food rolled into cabbage around the world is simply stunning. I was aware of the asian variety (delicious but usually heavy on the pork) but until just now, did not know there is a Finnish variety. I must attempt these. The future of middle earth depends on it. They are called "Kaalikaaryleet". I do not know what measurement a "dl" is. I am also not sure what "cabbage cooking liquid" is?

Kaalikääryleet

(for four - five persons)

- 1 large white cabbage - water, salt 1 tsp/1 l Filling: - 400 g of lean minced pork or beef - 1 onion - 1 dl cabbage cooking liquid - 2 dl chopped cabbage

- 2 dl boiled rice - 1 tsp salt - 1/4 tsp white pepper - 1 tsp marjoram Topping: - 1-2 tblsp syrup - butter or margarine - Cabbage cooking water for basting Gravy: - 3 dl pan juice - 2 tblsp flour - a little cream

Cut the stalk off the cabbage and cook the cabbage in salted water until the leaves are soft. You can carefully loosen the outer leaves as they soften. Lift the cooked cabbage onto a large plate to drain. Loosen the leaves one by one and chop the small inner leaves for the filling.

Finely chop the onion and fry in small amount of oil until translucent but not brown. Combine the meat, rice, chopped cabbage and seasonings into a smooth mixture. If the mixture is too thick, add some more of the cabbage cooking water.

Flatten the cabbage leaves. Lift a good tablespoonful of filling onto the leaf and roll it up tucking the edges round the mixture.

Place the rolls side by side in a baking dish, pour syrup and a little fat over them.

Bake the rolls for 1 hour at 200 °C. Half way turn the rolls over and baste them every now and then with the cabbage water.

Strain the pan juices and thicken with flour mixed with water. Add a little cream.

Serve the cabbage rolls with boiled potatoes and lingonberry purée.

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Oh yes, lingonberry puree. I have cans and cans of that in my pantry. No problemo. Here's a link to some Chinese cabbage rolls that look very very pretty. And finally, I found a recipe for Mexican cabbage rolls. JRW: Yeah, so sometimes my job is to set the mood of the kitchen. I didn't have any Polish music, so I busted out 'Volga Boatmen'. It turned the affair into a bit of a heavy bummer, not the mood for a good cabbage roll dinner, unless you are in a gulag or something. So, I think I switched it to Black Sabbath, which is perfect for ANYTHING ( don't argue with me, it is). If we do the Finnish version, I'll play some Emperor or Mayhem or something.

TIME TRAVEL YAM

KJJ: This is Time Travel Yam Curry. It is called that because it is what we ate for dinner. TWO NIGHTS AGO. In all honesty its not so much a "curry". Its more like a cilantro lemony tikka masala. It consists entirely of chickpeas and sweet potatoes aka. YAAAMMMMMS. JRW ate so much he nearly 'sploded and couldnt laugh because it hurt so much. On the subject of dinner conversation: I tried to tell JRW a story but apparently I was interrupting the precious Grand Funk Railroad grooves and he looked at me gently and put his finger to his lips and said..."shhhhhh". He has also stopped what he was doing several times to make mini air guitar riffs. "Here comes the best part." "This is the best part." "This part sounds like an alien cat." "Or a panther. An angry panther." "You'll like this song, its about a long cold winter." "This is just good rock." "I love this sound. Listen here it comes again." "This makes me want to smoke pot." "Oh my gosh that a Beastie Boys sample!" [Don't you mean the Beastie Boys sampled this?] "Yeah! Thats what I said!"

DOMESTICACCIATORE

KJJ: Bienvenudes amigolos, here we see Francine with some Chicken Cacciatore and a nice glass of milk. This photo should be in the freakin' Louvre. To make a cheater's cacciatore do this: Soften onions in olive oil, sprinkle with ground thyme. Add chicken and brown the outsides. Sprinkle with thyme, basil, salt and pepper. Add some mushrooms and zucchini. Simmer in a tomato based sauce. This feels like a good home cooked meal, son-of-a-gun. Be sure to listen to the entire Grand Funk Railroad album while you eat it. None of this MP3 business. Sprinkle with Parmesan and lay on bed of al dente pasta. OH MAN Jeffrey Steingarten is pumping out some great food articles in Vogue. Jeffrey Steingarten should be in the freakin' Louvre.

DO THEY HAVE THIS IN AMSTERDAM??!

Nooooo............KJJ: Above, chopped spicy beef, spicy bbq beans, creamy coleslaw. Those square things are white breads, like duh. Above, sliced snausage, black beans, mustard potato salad, assorted onions'n'pickles. And white breads. My initial comments to JRW: thank you for bringing me to your country. We met up with some wonderful friends from Mississippi. Personally, I love how their accents all sound like Britney Spears. One of our companions tried to eat three different animals on one plate. With regard to this meal, its really hard to explain Texas BBQ. And its hard to explain how it converts vegetarians (everyone we shared this meal with at once time was a vegetarian). The first thing I would try to mention is the wonderful smell. Everytime I drive down Red River street into downtown I get a whiff of it and it reminds me of being in India or someplace. For me, its the smell. It gets me like those old cartoons of characters following their nose to dinner. Its also usually a meal you share with people. And sharing is good. People are good. Sharing with people. Good. Sharing. Much discussion was had about the renegade E Coli bacteria infested bagged spinach. Thats some pretty gnarly stuff. Nobody is going to want to eat their spinach now. I'd like to mention that packaged salads are the most dangerous things you can buy at fast food places, because they do not cook them, hence no chance of bacterias being obliterated by the heat. Some deep thoughts: Does it matter how you die? Montreal: Hail of bullets. One dead, many injured. US: Bad spinach. One dead, many sick. ???? In other apartment news, I have obtained a new cookbook that I am very excited about called "ASIAN" and its focus is... ummmm.... Asian food. I'm pumped because it seems to have a good assortment of tropical Asian and Indian recipes. A nice combo.

GAYLE'S GARLIC FETA PASTA

KJJ: This is a recipe my old friend and housemate Gayle made once. I have a mind of steel so I instantly memorized the details of its construction and have cooked it often over the years. //heat oil, add like 6 cloves of minced garlic (yeah, lots and lots. cancel any plans you have for the evening). //slice a load of roma tomatoes into quarters or eighths. this time i used cherry tomatoes. they were so-so. cook in the oil until they're soft and release the juices. mmm.... juices. //boil pasta. what you are seeing above is something the italians call... "rigatoni". //once everything is done, stir it all together in the pot. drizzle some olive oil, and heres the kicker-- sprinkle a small handful of basil into it. stir. serve. //oops I forgot to mention the feta. the feta! you need lots to make it tasty. you crumble or slice little cubes of it and put it into the pasta. we all know its the best part, so dont be stingy. Hey, so the SWAT team stormed a house by our studio. Thats a story for another blog. Just... puttin' that out there.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

HURRY! DINNER'S READY!! KJJ: So the boss says to me, he says, "you gotta update your hobo site", and I'm all muttering to myself under my breath as I eat my tuna sandwich, "the only boss I listen to is Springsteen", but then I think to myself, self, "you gotta update your hobo site." So there you have it. I've missed posting some gems, some real doozies... some bona fide gourmet creations. We had the heebie jeebies over posting for a while since JRW got semi-stalked (you know who you are). We dont want to write about certain barbershops anymore, for example. Thats for the birds. But I digress. May I present, a typical Thursday at like the fucking coolest duplex in Austin: Still life with Cajun Alaskun Salmun, and Butter Zucchini w/ Baby Lima Beans. The salmon looks skimpy cause thats my plate and I was feeling finicky tonight. Oh why do I lie? I was feeling like a fat-ass so I gave the bigger piece to JRW.

*SILENCE*

It really pains me to say this, but I have to be honest. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail because I'm still holding out hope that our love will be re-united.... but I got really sick from El Chilito last night. I think they might be El Finito for us, for a while at least. Y'know... for a couple weeks the elephant in the room has been the fact that they cant wrap their burritos properly. Big mistake in a town where PRO burrito wrassling and wrapping can be had quite readily. Am I being picky? No, I am not. There is a LOT of juice and fillings that fall out of those lil puppies. The concept should be: food contained WITHIN the tortilla, no? Then there was the issue of sometimes your burrito was giant, sometimes it was tiny. We darn near had that happen in the same order one time! Then, last night, they gave me the wrong thing, in the wrong tortilla, with the wrong toppings... I ate it anyway because I'm not a pain in the ass. There lay my mistake. Adios amigo...

WHY FRO NO HOBOS?

We've been busy moving! And guess what- our new kitchen is like a COUNTRY kitchen! Do you think we will start baking biscuits and grits? Maybe. We have lots and lots and lots of love to give you... and lots and lots of twisted dinner table writing to lay on your noggins'. Start your cubicle day with a shot of good old fashioned spicy leftovers. And.... make them Hobo leftovers. (I have no idea what I'm talking about). (Actual authors not exactly as shown in picture. We wear a lot more denim.)

BACK FROM THE DEAD

KJJ: How can something so insanely delish look so redonkulously shiteous? That is a mystery for Merlin to solve. I cant declare with any certainty what the answer to that nightmarish question is. I really want to share this recipe with you, the world, and not make this post snotty and all about, like, ME. I'll try. No promises, but I'll try. Those slimy things in the pic are portobello mother effin mushrooms in orecchiette pasta. I believe the translation is loosely "little ears", as the pasta shape resembles.... uhhh... a little ear. Ask Merlin about that too, to be extra careful. If you've got some pine nuts, rosemary and some mustard, you are ready to THROW DOWN on this recipe. We had previously never tasted anything quite like this. JRW said it was one of the best we've ever made. The photo really doesnt do it justice. 1/4 cup pine nuts (1 1/4 oz.) 2 1/2 cups small dried pasta shapes, such as orecchiette or gnocchi (9 oz.) 2 1/2 Tbs. olive oil 8 oz. portobello mushrooms, stemmed and thinly sliced (4 cups) 1 1/2 tsp. salt 6 medium cloves garlic, finely chopped 1 large red onion, thinly sliced 1 1/2 Tbs. minced fresh rosemary 1/2 to 1 tsp. red pepper flakes 1/4 cup vegetable broth 1/2 cup mirin or dry white wine 1/2 cup Dijon mustard

Directions:

1. In dry wok, cook pine nuts over low heat, stirring often, until lightly toasted, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer to plate and set aside.

2. In same wok, bring 2 1/2 quarts lightly salted water to a boil over high heat. Add pasta; stir to prevent sticking. Cook, stirring occasionally, until just tender, 10 to 12 minutes. Drain well and set aside. Dry wok.

3. Set wok over high heat and add 1 1/2 tablespoons oil. Add mushrooms and 1 teaspoon salt and stir-fry until tender, about 2 minutes. Transfer to medium bowl and set aside.

4. Return wok to high heat and add remaining 1 tablespoon oil. Add garlic and onion and stir-fry 1 1/2 minutes. Add remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt, rosemary and pepper flakes and stir-fry 1 1/2 minutes. Add broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer 2 minutes, scraping up brown bits from bottom of wok. Add to bowl with mushrooms.

5. Return wok to high heat. Add mirin and mustard and stir with wire whisk to blend. Bring to a simmer then add reserved pasta and mushroom mixture and cook, stirring, 2 minutes. Toss in toasted pine nuts and serve.

TASTE THE F**KING DEFEAT

KJJ: Thats right, the Stanley cup left its rightful home of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and hitched a misguided ride of sorrow to Carolina. Yeah, sure, I'm posting this late. But whatevers. It still stings. How do you add to the awfulness? Well, I shall tell you. By eating a bitter, bitter stir-fry. And getting hot chili pepper in your eye. And getting attacked by chiggers. Like seriously attacked. I read this really weird yet sort of fascinatingly interesting interview with Jack Nicholson in a 1971 Playboy the other night. I'm just putting that out there. Neither the Stanley Cup nor Jack Nicholson 1971 have much to do with this stir fry. So, how are things with you?